Can I Trust You?

I had several occasions to hear former Secretary of State George Schultz speak. He discussed different issues each time but he always included the phrase, “Trust is the coin of the realm.” Schultz was referring to diplomacy but he just as well could have been speaking about business and leadership. (He also served as CEO of the Bechtel Corporation and Dean of the University of Chicago’s Business School.)

You can manage people with brute force (though I wouldn’t recommend it), but it’s hard to lead them effectively without trust. It’s no secret that trust is crucial to good relationships. But what exactly do we mean by trust?

When I’ve spoken with my staff and partners about trust, I focus on three principles:

The first one is: Don’t deceive. I used to say ‘Don’t lie,’ but lying is saying words that aren’t true while deceit encompasses a much broader array of misleading behaviors. Of course, there are white lies (“I’m sure you’re prepared for the interview”) and kind lies (“There’s nothing to be anxious about”) but these are exceptions. (If you’re not sure if an exception is legitimate, see #3 below.) Deceit obviously undermines trust – profoundly, immediately, and often irreparably.

In my experience, the most common type of deceit isn’t lying, and it isn’t evil. I most frequently encounter it as a board member, whether with non-profit or for-profit organizations. I was on the board of a large non-profit that was challenged by a rapidly changing environment. Financial reports to the board were vague and incomplete and presented as numbers without supporting commentary. I took my fiduciary responsibility seriously and 1) insisted on additional reporting so board members could accurately assess the situation and 2) directly asked the CEO and finance team about their level of concern. The reluctance to be proactively transparent and to fully share troubling news greatly reduced the ability of the board to help. It also corroded trust.

Smart leaders get the most from their boards and teams – and build trust along the way – by

sharing all important information, good or bad. And when there’s good reason they can’t be fully open, they behave in ways that colleagues won’t feel deceived – at the time or later.

The second principle is: Keep your promises. This is a completely different dimension of trust. I had a manager who never deceived me and did good work but didn’t consistently deliver on time. Often this presented a problem – rarely a serious one – but the unpredictability meant that I couldn’t trust her. This affected her performance and my willingness to promote her, and she ultimately left the company. At times when you simply can’t fulfill on a promise, such as an unavoidable project delay. alert the customer immediately, apologize, and provide consideration. This shows how much reliability matters to you.

It's worth talking about integrity here. Many people misuse or misunderstand that word as a

synonym for honesty. But honesty is saying what you do. Integrity is doing what you say.

It’s not about ethical behavior. A mobster who threatens to whack anyone who crosses him, and then does exactly that, has integrity. Reliability is about integrity.

My third principle is: Others first. Even if I can count on you to be honest and to deliver, I need to know that you truly care about what’s best for me. The attorney who tells the truth and meets commitments to me but puts his financial interests above my needs is not trustworthy. The friend who makes a “helpful suggestion” that really serves her preference isn’t someone worthy of trust.

Of course, sometimes another’s best interests might differ from your own; they might even be in direct conflict. My company had a very large client who bought a complex set of products and services from us, often canceling projects midway and applying payments to others. Once my CFO informed me that with all the changes during the prior year the client had a six-figure credit. I told this to the client and she said I must be wrong. I had the CFO check again and it was correct. The client said that there was no simple way to accept the credit within her company’s complex accounting system so I should forget about it. I said that I couldn’t do that and we worked out a way to get her the value she had paid us for. However much she trusted me prior to that, she trusted us more afterward. It had the same effect on my CFO.

Conflicts or difficult situations provide opportunities to build trust, but leaders also can do it proactively. Some examples:

• Disclose anything that could be perceived as a conflict of interest up front: “There are two ways to do this. I recommend the way that earns me the biggest commission, but I also think it’s best for you, and here’s why.” This removes the possibility of the client feeling deceived later.

• Suggest (and meet!) deadlines for all promised deliverables even if the customer doesn’t ask for them. This demonstrates conscientiousness and reliability.

• Candidly explain how and why your offering would not satisfy a customer as well as a competitor’s would – or would not meet them at all. You might lose the sale but you’ll show that you put the customer’s needs first – and will be much more likely to get another shot.

Bottom line: It may not always be easy, but it is simple: If you want to be trusted, be

trustworthy. Don’t deceive, deliver on promises, and prioritize other people’s interests. As a

leader, make trust the coin of your realm.